Women of a certain age … and TATT

TATT – or feeling Tired All The Time – isn’t an acronyn I made up, it’s one that doctors use and use a lot. Especially when describing women ‘of a certain age’. Isn’t that a horrible term? There’s an aspect of judgement to it, suggesting crazy hormonal mood swings, a woman past her best, even a certain nuttiness. But more often, those women are juggling demands that would make a lesser person quail – those of child rearing, employment (be that full or part time), supporting their husband and running a home, as well as caring for elderly relatives or less fortunate members of the community.

Remember Superwoman? Remember being told “you can have it all” and then finding out what it really meant is “you’ll be doing it all”? And whilst we don’t want to return to the dark ages, a bit of balance would be nice …

But doing it all can also mask physical symptoms which could – and should – be addressed. All woman are aware of the menopause, but few are aware of the impact of pre-menopause. If you’re unsure what symptoms might indicate pre-menopause, here’s a link from the Mayo Clinic.  As it shares some symptoms with the menopause, it’s enough to strike fear into the heart of a 40-something woman, who’s not ready to give up on life yet.

But, like all things, you don’t have to suffer silently. Unfortunately, the medical profession – even the female practitioners – aren’t terribly good at dealing with this particular life phase. So, you’re often left to work things out alone. And, when you’re not feeling at your best, that’s a pretty tough ask. Because one real problem is that it might not be pre-menopause – it could also be adrenal burnout, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, even depression just to name a few options. But unless you’re lucky with your doctor and have a supportive partner/family, you may be just too tired to keep on asking the question.

Rather than end up overwhelmed, Caring Coaching can give you that helping hand to navigate through the process, to find the energy to do your own research, to uncover treatment and lifestyle options that work … for you.

 


© 2018 Caring Coaching

Burning the candle at both ends …

I bet you hate that saying, especially when someone – your mother maybe – suggests that’s what you’re doing. And why wouldn’t you? You’re young, you’re talented, you’re ambitious. You work hard, but you play hard too. And that’s a good thing … no? It certainly can be. Especially if you’re enjoying it.

After all, what is stress but …

  • “just a deadline”
  • “nothing gets done without deadlines”

You probably look at those wilting under the pace as being a touch soft, maybe even a bit work-shy. For you’re a high achiever, you’re a success.

But what happens if your body lets you down? If it gets worn out by the constant late nights, by the lack of nutrients in your diet, or by an excess of cortisol?

  • You start to get colds, and they hang around
  • Your complexion goes to pot – spots, patchy dry skin, cold sores
  • You get lots of sleep, but you wake up tired
  • You don’t bounce back after a boozy night out the way you used to
  • You feel cold
  • You get grumpy

But you don’t want to give up this fantastic life you’ve worked so hard to create. You just need a holiday. And that seems to work, at first, but then you find yourself back where you started. And you start to wonder “what’s wrong with me?” In these circumstances, a thorough medical check-up is A Good Thing. But when the medical profession has passed you fit, although they may suggest you need to look at your lifestyle … what then?

Here at Caring Coaching, we understand that change isn’t easy, nor is it always welcome. We care about helping you choose the right strategies to find the right outcome … for you.

 


© 2018 Caring Coaching

I’m not depressed! But my life is depressing …

Recognise this statement? Been to see your healthcare professional recently? Experienced that head tilt, rapidly followed by the offer of anti-depressants?

It goes without saying (at least I hope it does) that if you do have depression, you should grasp that prescription before heading pronto to an appropriate talking therapist (and here’s the place to find one).

But, if like so many, you’re simply fed up with the life you’re currently living, what can be done about it?

The problem is there’s so many reasons for life depressing a person, for feeling constantly tired, worn down by illness, lacking in enthusiasm for another day just like the one before. Even when you know what could help, finding the energy to make those changes can feel like too much to ask. Over the next few weeks, I’ll be focussing on some of those reasons.

But for right now, whilst having someone listen to you can be great … just listening isn’t always enough, is it? Sometimes you need help working out what aspect of your life is depressing you, and what change will have the most impact. You need a plan, one that works by generating enthusiasm, not leaving you feel overwhelmed. A plan leading to a life that has you waking up filled with energy and anticipation for each and every day.

Take the first step here. Fill it in, if you’d like help with making that new plan, then get in touch to arrange your free initial consultation.

 


© 2018 Caring Coaching

Feeling good? What if you could bottle that feeling?

Well, you can. I can’t transform it into liquid and put it in a bottle, but I can give you an anchor point to press instead. And when you press that anchor point, you will re-experience everything about that moment when you were feeling good.

Today, I am walking around as if I’m six foot tall. I’ve just completed a demanding, time-consuming period of training. Last night I found out I’d qualified. If I thought last night felt good, this morning has felt even better. Now I’m a naturally happy person – I smile at strangers – and not to freak them out! But today, I’m not just happy, I feel confident. Mega confident. And this is not my natural state …

It’s not due to just the successful completion of training, rather it’s that I’ve had the most amazing anchor set on my arm. It’s a flexible one too. Depending on my needs, it goes from feeling rational, through confidence, all the way up to swagger. It’s such a powerful anchor, that I’m still feeling it today … two days later.

I have another one – on the index finger knuckle of my left hand. That anchor was set in September. It’s my relaxation anchor and I fire that one a lot. Any time life’s been stressful, if I’ve struggled to sleep, when facing exams and assessments, it has been such a godsend. And it worked as well this weekend as it did when it was first set. I press that knuckle and I simply cannot stop my shoulders depressing. And with those shoulders sinking, come all the other lovely calm and relaxed emotions.

So … are there feelings you’d like to bottle? Difficult days you’d face easier if you just knew you could guarantee having your best self present? Whatever feeling(s) you want to bottle – get yourself to an NLP practitioner and get an anchor! Anchors come in all shapes and sizes, they’re multi-purpose and amazing. They’re my favourite NLP tool and not just for myself – I think everyone should have at least one. If you decide to work with me, it’s almost certain we’ll take a few minutes to set one. I’m confident you’ll come to love yours as much as I do mine!

 


© 2017 Caring Coaching

Are you a swan?

You know … flowing along gracefully and elegantly on the surface, but paddling frantically out-of-sight? If you are, you’re not alone. There’s a lot of it about.

For some swans, it’s all about having too much to do and too little time. Often it’s also about being a bit of a perfectionist and that’s OK. We all have our little traits, but we do have to guard against their becoming a stick to beat ourselves with. Busy people, achievers and planners don’t see themselves as needing help with getting stuff done … ‘cos they don’t. What they may need help with is … prioritising, delegating, setting boundaries and learning to say no. But they’re not good at asking … are they?

For some of those elegant birds, it’s about anxiety. Just to be sure, what we’re talking about here is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something that is happening or might happen in the future. Even the most competent and confident of swans can suffer and it can come as such a surprise that they’ll just flounder about, ‘cos this sort of thing doesn’t happen to them. Oftentimes it’s related to a bad experience in the past – one they’ve “put behind” them with rational reasoning, leaving the negative emotions to pop out when entirely unexpected. You see, emotions don’t always to get resolved with rational reasoning. But there are ways to combat the issue.

The best one is the “I’ll show ’em” option, so long as you can control the anxiety sufficiently to achieve your aim, that is. But if your anxiety is preventing that happening, there are other options available. One is the famed two-chair technique where you can tell that other person just what you think, where you can defend yourself eloquently, calmly and rationally instead of as the shocked and blubbing mess you once were and now regret. If you don’t fancy the verbal punchbag option, there’s a process where you get those emotions out in a safe place and can collapse their power by using wonderful and empowering emotions. And if the ‘other person’ is you, then forgiveness is long overdue, as is trust. Once again, there’s a lovely little technique that will help you with that.

So my swans, whatever category you fall in to, focus on calming those frantic legs, luxuriate in making that graceful and elegant image more than just surface only, and take the time to deal with your anxiety.  For you could take a pill a day for the rest of your life but, unless it’s a chemical imbalance, it’s got to be worth spending some time on yourself first.

Whilst L’Oreal may have created a massive cliché, you truly are worth it.

 


© 2017 Caring Coaching

%d bloggers like this: